How to spot the subtleties of success

Pretty Caucasian woman at the beach smiling at camera.

Success is really a progress of small, overlooked achievements in the most minute form. We’re all successful every day which seems funny because we often tie it to one big ol’ goal achieved, with fireworks and corks from the bubbly popping.

That’s a shame because there is great potential in closing the accounts of each day, of acknowledging everything that went right, instead of focusing on the next day’s to-do list.

If I know you, worked with you, am friend with you, or met you in passing, this book and video are dedicated to you. Your kindness is a part of me and since I put so much of myself in this book, you are, too. Thank you for adding to my story. May you know the value you bring to the world. (Sorry for the weird 1970s pink lighting)

I had a book celebration with family and close friends over the weekend. It wasn’t until the night before that I realize that I had achieved every single goal I had my eyes on, despite doing a retrospective of last year.

You can watch the context setting of the book here.

And yet, that success meant more to me when I gathered my beloved from different phases and areas of my life together and talked about how much they meant to me and how they all (in fact, everyone I’ve ever met) added a golden thread in my story that has woven the path to where I now stand.

In some ways, it was like a eulogy except it was me publicly thanking each person in front of the entire gathering for what they meant to me, what that meant to this achievement of the book that I put so much of myself into…and why they were so positively impactful to me.

I never want any words left unsaid, you know, in case I don’t get the chance to say them in the future.

It took me months after the book was published to have this party…for me to make the gratitude I had for writing it real beyond the act itself. The facets of everyone’s love and support came into play which rounded out my experience of what success is.

And that is really the subtle nature of success…

…the acknowledgment of the gifts received daily from those around you, as well as the acknowledgment of the belief of the immense value you have in yourself…every frigging day.

Success is a progress, not a goal. It’s quiet. It’s beautiful.

It’s always, always shared and built upon quietly by every person you meet, every experience you have, even if, on the surface, it all seems unrelated.

Maybe success seems like it takes a long time or requires a lot of hard work until this is realized.

There was an interesting thread I participated in on LinkedIn about whether or not a coach should not work with someone who doesn’t hold the same viewpoints or values as you. Everyone agreed they would not.

I thought about how that can affect one’s potential in achieving success in this deeper definition, one that the world is ready for.

Of course, I was the outlier because letting what’s on the surface, conflicting attitudes or repulsive behaviors, distracts away from…

… the opportunity to experience what we all really want. A deeper reflection of the truth of who we are that supersedes all the superficial details of life like one’s wealth, political or religious affiliations, habits, or intentions.

We all yearn to be seen and heard beyond what can be seen and analyzed intellectually, and get frustrated and over time, pretty pissed which comes out in the form of “yelling” (strong opinions) or behaviors that polarize.

When someone comes to me, I look beyond those details of the business want the person has and can clearly see the root of it which is entangled with so many other aspects of their lives that frustrate or hinder them. They’re locked in a perspective about themselves that is more intellectually tethered than alchemized with all layers of who they are.

Of course, we address the business concern like making more money or confidently taking the next step in up-leveling their marketing, but at the same time, the person gets a different perspective about themselves and how their issues were here broaden them into a more compassionate understanding of their business, themselves and other people.

I don’t intend on changing their opinions but after our work, there is space for them to stand strong, in a truer way, in their convictions while having space for civil discussions from opposing views where both are heard because that person sees and hears themselves more clearly and truly.

Because that is what success needs: Undiluted, focused energy underneath the words and actions while giving space for everyone else to realize theirs.

It’s an ever-expanding capacity to appreciate what you want before you get it in ways that don’t often correlate 1:1 to that objective. It always gives you more positive things than what you originally set your eyes on.

We may have never met but I do know this for sure and must say it now: Thank you for adding to my success, my perspective about myself, for giving me valor to tell a truer story about myself. I couldn’t have done any of this without you.

Tell a truer story. Make your soul-centered gifts real. Together, we weave a new story for the world while changing the ones we hold in our hearts and soul.

#success #progress #ExpandingAppreciation

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