Agitation was a eager companion and fine friend to irritation and judgment. They all separated me from myself and others by building, brick by brick, thoughts born outside of myself (what I saw on tv, what I read, what I heard from others). None coming from my heart.
It didn't matter if it was shaken or stirred because the sediment that rose up always clouded my senses, like a shaken snowglobe.
Snafus and delays in projects, slow drivers, absent minded people, inconsiderate strangers, "small" hearts or "big peacock feathered egos" really irritated me. Why were people so stupid?
What you see in others is a reflection of yourself.
How hypocritical that I've thought those things while never once looking in the mirror myself. Oopsie. My logic: I'm a person myself, so I'm pretty certain, no, I KNOW that I've been guilty of having a small heart, peacock feathers, change of heart and being absent-mind and inconsiderate that surely has agitated people along my life's path.
I've learned that when irritation pops it's big head into my viewfinder, it's telling me,"You better look at yourself first," before reacting. And I have always found that I posses that trait or acted in a similar manner.
Then I look at why? Why did I spread my peacock feathers in that one meeting, leaving no oxygen in the room for anyone to speak? Why did I change my mind about plans with friends? Why did I drive so erratically and cut that driver off? Oh, I remember, I was frantically rushing to the hospital again to fill out paperwork for my ailing relative. Oh, I remember, I was frantic and scared and angry at life and it made me grip onto a slipping reputation. Oh, I remember...
I also remember being on the receiving end of compassion sometimes and mirrored anger during other times when I did those things. One salved my hurt, the other burned it deeper. Oh, I remember that, too.
So, now, it has been helpful for me, when my "Go Pro" steady vision in life gets askew, to first look at myself, rather than knee jerk reaction, to see if I've ever acted in that manner. My Martini's Mirror poises itself upward, and find myself saying, more often than not, a quiet prayer, "I see you. I know that feeling, too. You'll be ok. You're going to make it. I wish you safety and ease."
Even when I can't find a similar reflection in that mirror, say something truly horrific or mortifying, I curiously find something in the Tapestry of Life that frees a response of acknowledgment, without judgment, like, "Wow, you must be suffering something bad. I can't imagine what that would do to me. I don't understand this but I hope you find peace somewhere, somehow." And then I let it go.
A funny thing happens every time I now meet someone who scares or irritates me. I act from my identity's anchor, going through this exercise, and find that they either disappear (we move out of each other's orbits) or they change their demeanor around me.
Either way, it just works out. But only if I stay true to myself and receive the gift from martini's mirror.
I try to live this every day: 10 Powerful Mantras to Stop You From Judging Others - Marc and Angel Hack Life