March was Women’s History Month which was perfect for me because there were so many networking events that seemed to vibe with my vision. Plus, it was nice to get out of my yoga pants, shave my legs and remind myself how to drive my car.
I learned that there is no other way to rise in a graceful, joyful, sustainable way without others who clap the loudest when you win and gently place a hand on your back when you are in doubt.
You don’t need to be a business owner to benefit from being a non-competitive environment, if even if you’re in a high stress job. It’s about the space you create for yourself.
In fact, the musings below are even more important if you work for a company that’s not your own. Here’s why:
You have the power, whether you know it or not, to change the tenor of how your company treats its employees just by showing up in full ownership of your true north. It infuses everything you do, without thought or hesitation.
You have the influence to shape how your company operates when you’re clear about what the root cause of dysfunction is.
You have the key to liberate yourself from being a widget in a machine by acting from a place of your right life’s original essence…and by doing so, give permission for others to expand upward.
The points also tie into reducing your stress. By rising with others, you find you don’t have to try or work so hard to get things done in a way that stifles your true north.
Here are some of the gifts I received that I hope you’ll love too, along with some reflective points.
Acceptance for Who You Are
During some of the events, I couldn’t quite put my finger on why I loved them so much until it dawned on me that no one expected anything from me, no one judged me, no one compared me to anyone else, no one had suggestions for me to consider.
I don’t think I’ve experienced that in a long time.
There was nothing for me to do except just exist without having to explain or justify myself that would somehow obligate me to the next point.
These prompts may give you a glimpse into how much time you spend explaining or justifying yourself.
Name the times in the past week when:
Introductions that involve a gauge of explanation and inherent value in the office totem pole. “How long have you worked here?” “Who’s your manager?” “What are you working on these days?”
No one asked you for anything, including yourself (“And now….”let go and breathe.” “I need to relax.” “What’s the status of your action item?” “Should I send that email?”
Arrived in a situation where you absolutely knew your worth outside of any external definitions.
You Can’t Be Wrong When There’s No Comparison and Judgement
When you clean your undercurrent and know acutely you have more to go, it doesn’t matter at all when no one else is looking for it.
What normally happens and makes our path ahead of us matter is when you’re around people who are secretly comparing and judging you albeit innocent.
Unless you embody your true north, you can be sucked into silent competition. There’s no need to compare when you hold space for who you are exactly as you are now.
Be like the flowers that just grow and bloom regardless of what’s happening around them.
Name the number of times last week when:
You shared a real worry in the spirit of transparency and those around you just held space without a “You should do what so-and-so did…” “Have you talked to ….?” “What do you suggest we do about it?”
You didn’t judge some secretly who’s a few steps ahead or behind you in life. This includes thoughts of “Bless his/her heart.” “He/she needs to….” “He/she better watch it if he/she doesn’t change…” “I want what he/she has…”
You noticed how subtle comparisons creep up in people’s everyday conversations. “Before the reorg, things were...” “I’m so stressed (compared to times free of the stressor).” “Back to reality after a great vacation…”
The Emergence of Community
I arrived early to one event…waaaayyy early to drop off some marketing materials for the attendees’ goodie bags.
The organizers needed a little more help and gladly accepted the help from us early birds. We got vague instructions without trust issues on how to complete the tasks.
Stuff got done fast as we figured out the most efficient way to get stuff done and dispersed as soon as the task was completed.
I felt connected to the event, the organizers, their mission, and was that much more invested in the success where the need for recognition was markedly absent.
A community lets its member come together organically when something is needed, then disperse when the task is complete. These might give you an idea of what types of communities you belong to.
Name the number of times last week when:
You were trusted to figure something out and execute on your own, in your own way without worrying about what others would think. You were given free rein to complete a project following your personal style.
Knew that whatever you did was greatly appreciated even if it wasn’t expressed.
You volunteered because you wanted to not because it was the right thing to do even though it wasn’t even your job. Think: Change the toner in the copier.
You were so vested in something you weren’t officially involved with that your loyalty naturally bloomed.
Recipe Card for Rising Together
A community starts with you. Your North Star has tremendous power beyond the 5% conscious mind that motivates your intellect and forces your will as outlined in the reflection prompts outlined above.
Get the below ingredients right and you’ll be surprised how a community starts to form.
Know that there is room for you. When I talk about embodying your authentic self, your original essence in the form of your North Star, this is what I mean.
A star never worries if it’s too high in the sky, too bright, takes up too much room, how to move in the sky, what it looks like compared to the other stars or whether it exists if the clouds cover it.
YOU are meant to be the same, never to dim your high potential to fit in, worry about what others think about your light, shrink because you take up too much space, know that your essence is incomparable to others, or doubt whether you are worthy when things falter.
There is ALWAYS room for you. That’s why you were born. Own it like a monarch owns its sovereignty. Even in a corporate environment that wouldn’t seem to support it.
Keep your lens clean. Know yourself from your true north, know why you matter to the point you don’t need anyone else to tell you what that even means. Don’t let your power be taken away by intrusions of external definitions of value into your original essence. The power in the other 95% of you WILL influence others positively.
Put receptivity front and center. Be open for anything and have no expectations or attachments to what will happen. Remember, 5% of you is your conscious mind and it can jack up what the other 95% of your subconscious and its best friend, your soul, are doing for you.
Show up. You can’t grow upward if you stay in a box. Show yourself. Being around people who offer the gifts I mentioned doesn’t happen in the privacy of your home or in the digital space. It happens face to face. If you work in an office, you’re 5 steps ahead of me since I work from home.
Be the North Star that automatically makes the rest of us look up to you for inspiration. Move according to what you know is right. You free the rest of us to do the same. And together, we all rise.
#RisingTogether #TheresRoomForYou #ShowUp #NoNeedToCompete