Ahh, the New Year!
For many, it’s a time of resolution, renewed commitment to achieve a new goal or become, somehow, the person they wish to be after looking at the past year.
The same can be said of big life events, including those that bring one to their knees, like grave illnesses, leaving a job, or getting a divorce.
Both the New Year and these big live events signal some sort of end and beginning simultaneously.
Sometimes these transitional periods bring a sense of trauma or ruin.
We’re designed to evolve, grow, and change
All of us yearn to evolve - stagnation can be very painful. The New Year is just a convenient trigger to reflect on this.
For some, it’s a path of wanting happiness or realizing a dream. For others, it’s a simple as just wanting better.
But here’s what I’ve found to be true:
Change is like heaven, everyone wants to go there but no one wants to die. Joel Peterson
Like many best intentions or positive mindsets around transitions, efforts fall by the wayside after a few weeks. If you go to the gym regularly, you can see the number of fellow members dwindle like a slow draining bathtub as the year progresses.
For most, new mindsets or resolutions revolve on what happens on the surface
These are mistaken to be the cause of some sort of life impediment or unhappiness.
I’m too busy.
This is real. Addressing those causes by repetitive activities can work after a lot of time and effort. I think most resolutions or commitments to change fail because people are just too damn busy to keep up with the added activities.
The day-to-day routine of what existed in the old year probably carry over into the new year. Adding more things to do on top of it take a great deal of energy to be faithful.
The undertow of what the REAL root cause is too strong to support a meaningful change.
I’ll give you an example. I teach a way of decluttering that is reflective of Marie Kondo’s popular Tidying Up Netflix series.
On the surface, it’s simply decluttering what we don’t need and loving what we already have.
But the root cause revolves around what’s below these questions:
Why did we buy so much stuff to begin with?
Why are we so disconnected with our possessions that we “forget” we have so many duplicate items that we purchase ore?
Surprisingly, it doesn’t have to do with the capitalistic, consumer-oriented culture we have in the West, some childhood trauma of filling ourselves up with the emptiness caused by our parents, or a lack of mindfulness.
The root cause is something much deeper…and simpler than all of these superficial, popular causes.
What’s really happening?
Resolutions, commitments, and even decluttering, at the root, is caused by where we give our power away.
When we fill our lives with superficial hopes and dreams, it’s usually an attempt on the hidden level, to regain parts of our power that we’ve given to others, to material goods, or to those “who know better than me.”
The act of doing something, like exercise, dieting, or decluttering are informative, on a subconscious level, of what we’re trying to get back. And it’s not around fitness, losing weight, or getting rid of stuff.
On a metaphoric level, unique to each person’s internal landscape definition, it’s an attempt to fill in parts of our missing, core identity free from anything material or external.
Subconsciously, most people don’t know who they really are, so they attach to external labels and activities of a false identity: My job title, my relationship status, how much I exercise, the kinds of food I eat, and what the level of material or financial accumulation.
We’re up against external factors that make it difficult to be aware of this because of the bombardment of social pressures and media presentation.
These, too, have a root cause around control, manipulation, and deceit that reinforce a hidden undercurrent of lack and program us to temporary make us feel we’re enough when we engage in these external definitions.
The problem is, if your true identity isn’t known, there simply isn’t “enough” to satisfy that because the truth is, most people have not realized how vast and powerful they are, in every day life.
When those external definitions intersect with change, let’s say, something at your work, you become extremely vulnerable, with no sense of control, to whatever affects it. YOU get pulled off center when there’s another reorg, round of layoffs, or leadership change.
Consciously, no one would ever admit that they are defined by their jobs, but think about the tightening in your gut or rising anger in your throat when you get called into a meeting to justify what you did in your last project.
And, that is where most people get stuck. How do you know what to do when you don’t know what you’re working with on a subconscious level where there is no connection to the conscious mind?
What’s the alternative?
The alternative is not to stop exercising, eating more healthy, or buying less stuff.
The alternative, at the root, is to know who you are at your essence, without any external influences.
You know, it’s your North Star, the part of you that naturally shines its light, moves on its own, leads the way, without doing anything different than just be what it is.
Owning that alone leaves no room to get hooked by commercialism or false leads that you need to do something, subconsciously, to be enough, be mindful, or be anything other than who you are at 100%.
What’s my north star?
The steps to unwind your North Star so you don’t waste your time, energy, or money feeding your false identity are easy.
You can read about them in the free True Life Roadmap eBook.
Book a free Discovery Session to see if it’s right for you…because to be honest, it’s not for everyone.
Do this New Year right by finally unwinding your North Star.
#NewYearAnotherChance #TrueIdentity #StopLivingAFalseIdentity #NorthStar #TrueLife