Ever felt like you have your foot on the gas and the brake at the same time? I have....and I realized, I just needed one chance.
This is kind of about manifestation in the popular sense, about integrity, and a very, very strong decision during a talk with Source.
It's about hitting your fist on the desk and declare, "It's this...or nothing." And then it works out.
I was given a recommendation around my marketing that was sound by most accounts but was in contrast to my integrity - nothing weird or sleazy but required "my" story to be front and center as part of my marketing.
- My business' soul is center - not me. My work is about teaching people how to eliminate all the "stuff" (old stories, energy from others along a soul's timeline) so what fills its place is the fullest expression of their soul.. I only guide from the side, at eye level, not with a spotlight on me.
- My story revolves around relationships - I know now that these are simply a mirror of my inner landscape, but nonetheless, the work involved private energy work with those folks I had relationships - relatives, to be exact. My "work" only works when the space is clean and safe.....meaning, it is private, not be broadcast for profit.
I got so wound up that I had a conversation with Source - a very focused one where I declared my stance. I would not rise by standing on someone else's face...even if these people were no longer alive.
So, I declared, if the only way I can move forward is by compromising my integrity, I'm out. I will close the biz and walk away as if this was the cruelest joke on me yet. The answer I heard from Source was, in a gameshow host voice, "Is that your final answer?" And, I said, "YES! I will not live my life or run my business in any way that is compromised. That's the whole point of my business...it's essence."
Upset, I thought to myself, I just need a chance to continue to bring my business closer to earth. ONE CHANCE.
And this is what happened. My Akashic Records teacher outlined the certification requirements for her course: Twenty practice sessions. I deflated - my friends who had offered themselves as guinea pig and they amounted to 2. Unconfident, I calculated it'd take a looonnngg time to reach that amount.
Downtrodden, I thanked the teacher for her wisdom to teach us so well and told her I knew the work works so certification wasn't necessary. Ready to bid adieu, she encouraged me and generously offered me a chance. She allowed me me to post in her private group of thousand members a call for me to solicit 20 practice sessions.
So, I did. And guess what happened? Exactly 20 people responded. And, I completed 21 sessions in just over a week.
I went from 0 to 100 in a day.
And, that's the most striking thing about this. The work was pure, clean and uncompromised. If you're not aware of the Akashic Records, it's a sacred energy space where you take souls to answer questions around their soul timeline, contracts, etc.
Twenty strangers, brave and compassionate stepped forward. My work only works when it's pure and clean, meaning, no room for my ego, analytics, or projections. And from my perspective, each session was more beautiful than words can convey.
There is a feeling of reverence I used to feel when I spent many nights in hospitals while I was caregiving for my dad and brother for 23 years...and I witnessed raw grief and stripped to the bone love for relatives as they received the worst news imaginable.
And that yielded the kind of rawness that is impolite to look at, where my eyes lowered and I prayed, "I see your love. Peace and comfort to you."
Well, nothing that dramatic happened in those sessions but the magnitude of the pure energy of another's soul had the same effect on me. In honor, I emptied myself so I could do the work, to make the capacity to hold a safe space of those 20 souls who trusted me.
My work. My way. Uncompromised. Clean. It worked.
One chance after the declaration of this or nothing else.
Then the foot lifted from the brake and I went.
I hope whatever you declare as it's this or nothing, turns up as your one chance.