Note: Potty words below so I'm rating this M for mature audiences. :-)
The unknown. It either thrills people with overflowing excitement or makes others crap in their pants. For the latter, when dealing with deep soul work, it's like "Give up control to the unknown? Uh, no thanks, not today. Maybe when I get further along in my path," because deep inside, one wonders, "WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN?"
You know what? I don't blame you.
A lot of people say, "let it all go," "release the things that hold you back," "shed what isn't yours" and although that sounds like a good idea, haven't you ever wondered, "Then what? What happens?" If being honest, there is a moment or maybe many, of a deep visceral fear about that.
And if the response to you was, 'Trust the universe and all shall be taken care of" and if you wanted to cuss out loud, "Fuck no, I've got bills to pay, I'm not going to quit my job and trust the universe will help me." Or, "You don't understand. I know it's my relationship that fucking me up, but in all honestly, I don't want to let that go, and step into the unknown abyss where my gut is going to wrench over whether or not I did the right thing." Or, "Uhhh, hmm, you know, I'm not really ready, or strong enough, or smart enough to figure out what's going to happen."
If that's what you thought, then let me high five you. Because, you are honest enough to listen to yourself and smart enough to know that this logically doesn't make sense.
This fear of letting go or whatever the thing you're facing, is REAL. It's no bullshit. And to be told in some new agey way that all will be well does not cut it.
Well, at least for me, I knew that none of those reassurances made sense to me. But, I did it. I took the leap into the abyss....and you know what? It was absolutely ball busting terrifying.....It wasn't fun. It was the feeling I had like the first time I went ziplining (and I was terrified of heights), jumping from a platform 200 feet above the forest floor to ride a line 400 feet long....with vultures circling above (I'm not kidding).
Here's the important thing I wanted to share with you. It doesn't have to be like that.
I wish someone would have told me the below because it would have made the leap into the wild blue yonder a hell of a lot easier and certainly more graceful. And I'm mad that this isn't more frequently shared with people because without knowing what I'm about to share with you, we all stay small, stuck in the status quo, even though it makes us die a little more each day.
Here's what I know now and I hope it helps you, too:
- Trust in yourself completely: it's a damn good idea that I didn't trust what those people said because the lack of trust had nothing to do with me BUT A LACK OF TRUST IN THEM. Which meant that my soulful intelligence was right and there's was based on some xeroxed version of something that they read. Sorry, but that's what I really feel because these people, I don't think, knew the specifics of my life, or felt that deep resistance that knotted my stomach and made the back of my head burn.
- Whatever you call this thing of changing, "healing," (which I don't like because you are already complete and beautiful), releasing, letting go, are all fantastic proof points that your subconscious is in perfect working order, even when consciously you know something has to be different. You may be open to something but not at the expense of being obliterated because that would suck.
- What's on the side of the unknown is this: Simply, more of you and it feels, really, really good. Like the relief of taking off the spanx on your soul, or a push up bra after a long night out, or those stupid, but beautiful new shoes before they're broken it. Ahhhh.
What does that last point mean exactly? It means: The more of you = Everything that you are, everything you know, every piece of wisdom, joy and light you currently are becomes magnified a hundred million times more.
THE ONLY UNKNOWN IS YOU FULLY UNENCUMBERED AND UNCOMPROMISED. The you that you already more. The you of you that isn't amplified like the beacon of light that you already are. You don't give up anything other than the stuff that dims and filters your light. All the shit that doesn't belong to you in the first place.
So why is this so terrifying? Well, because people make change seem harder than it is. And because society likes you to stay small, easier to control, and influence without regrd to your fulll ownership of who you are. After so many years of being alive on this earth, after a lifetime of programming of other people's subconscious scripts, and after being socialized that change is hard, why would you not believe it not to be anything but that?
So, that's my take into why it's so hard to let go and a new perspective of what you're really getting into if you do decide to go ahead with whatever it is you're bumping up against.
In my opinion, that's exactly what the world needs right now: The real, beautiful, magnificent, uncompromised you.