I have spent time, years even, where I wasn’t “feeling it.” It was about hating where I was but not having the options for the future, and feeling clueless as to what to do next.
There have been times when I’ve sat and sat and grew roots of inertia which began to entwine me in frustration. Particularly when there was no support or guidance on how to get out of it because everyone around me had already given up.
I wasn’t the only person not feeling it either. The people around me weren’t either. Not at work where people were counting down the days to (their next vacation, retirement, winning the lottery) and not in my family (carrying anger from past wrongs, dissatisfaction with work).
And these can pop up during this time of the year, with more stuff to do like holiday shopping, planning the logistics for a family trip, or attending holiday and family get-togethers. More stuff to do on top of your full plate.
Use the compression that the extras of this time of year to bring up what you DON’T want to repeat in the new year.
Here’s what I found out. It, in a zig zaggy kind of way, leads to a form of disempowerment that feeds on itself, spreading its discomfort and narrowing your scope vision, causing a dilution of your time and energy.
It’s taxing to be in the suck.
What Most People Do
Change your mindset
It sounds like: All you need to do is look through life differently, a challenge is a blessing, you know.
I call b.s. on this - I never needed to pile something more onto my overflowing day. List making, gratitude journaling, positive thinking all shellacked over an “it” that still rattled around there.
Honestly, being challenged or compressed, doesn’t feel like a blessing…and it’s very easy for a tarry residue to stick to you as time passes if you don’t get to the root by just tolerating for it to pass. And you make yourself vulnerable to experiencing that same undercurrent again.
This a method of force, albeit in a spiritual-correctedness kind of way.
It sounds like: Breath, come back to your center, be present.
Ummm, I don’t want to sound rude, but here’s what I know: You are already breathing, it happens naturally, so we’re good there. You’re already here, too, so check that box.
If you are living a false identity (your worth is subconsciously tied to something external to you like, the stock market, your performance review, your family), then you will never be centered or balanced as those variable elements shift in free will or react to volatility.
Try This Instead
Sometimes it’s easier to look inside when things are raw, so to give visibility to the parts most people stifle.
It looks like: I HATE where I’m at. I can’t change (quit my job, find a new partner). Feel what comes up.
It’s so easy to say, “It’s fine, I’ll get over it.” DON’T. You deny yourself the chance to surpass the root cause, because I bet you, the same undercurrent that’s popping up now has a tendril to similar experiences.
Look at yourself only, don’t bring in others as an excuse (I can’t because I have kids who need to go to college) or blame (I would be happy if my boss wasn’t such an ass).
Allow yourself to sit-in-it. I’ve mentioned before (What is a Spiritual Zit) about the regenerative power of emotions, especially the ugly ones, so do it, and do it your way. Don’t let others talk you out of it with all that bypass talk.
Find the Root Cause
It looks like: Oh, yah, it’s my boss who is inefficient and stale, only managing upwards. He’s useless. I wish I could quit but [enter reason]. Pulling the string: What does this shitty feeling feel like? Have I ever been useless in my own life? Root cause: I was powerless to change that situation when I was “useless” BUT I [enter reasons]…and I feel powerless to change this one. It feels like a lid pressing on my head.
This is not about psychological regression to what your mom or dad did to you, or what you wish your inner child knew.
Leverage your own life at the deep personal definition to find the root essence that’s being stirred up, violated, or filtered.
Do the work
Use whatever tool you have to bring forward the wisdom that’s been signaling your attention.
Use whatever tool you use to get the epiphany and embody it.
Let me teach you how to quickly unwind it at the root so you don’t have to think about it again - it could be something as easy as using your North Star to remove it, returning an ancestral script, or removing a deeper, evolutionary adaptation.
Ultimately, this is about how much power you give away and the not feeling it is your North Star’s constriction at being compromised.
To find your North Star and embody it so you don’t have to think about it, book a free consultation to know where you’re at and where you want to go.