Last night, I received a huge gift of bandini that at first, shocked me, then pissed me off, then lit a fire under my ass, then made me feel grateful.
As you know, I just got done refreshing my program, The True Life Roadmap, so I made the announcement through social media. I boosted the announcement and was surprised when one new follower saw the post and then commented in CAPS something about how THE BIBLE IS THE ONLY TRUE LIFE ROADMAP…..
WTF? Where did that come from? I was sharing something I love so deeply, newborn and fragile, and it felt like someone trampled all over it. So, I wanted to share with you how the phases described above cycled through in minutes and didn’t take me off course.
What is Bandini and How Do You Use It?
Within 10 minutes of having my soul trampled on, this is what I went through. A recipe card is included at the bottom of this post if you ever need it.
Shock – Bandini, other people’s s*@t, is like an intrusion dumped into your space. Why this hurt: I put a lot of time and effort into it plus my soul commitment to do this thing after leaving Corporate America. It was a clean offering full of my best intentions, and this lady dumped her viewpoint on it.
I refreshed 38 written exercises, 55 videos (some of which, in front of camera, is something I’d never would have done a month ago) that I filmed/edited, the online platform IT tweaking of video, audio was DONE. And, I truly was full of joy.
Anger – What happened to manners? You know, being polite when invited to someone’s house – few people in the real world would pull down their pants and s#$t on your kitchen floor, right? In the digital world, this was a fear of mine because it’s been diluted.
Why this hurt: Even if I don’t agree with someone, I was taught not to gasbag my viewpoint in an abrasive way. There are at least two ways to say something and it hurt me when this lady expressed her dissenting viewpoint so loudly. Hey man, I’m just starting out with this thing full-time and it felt like someone step on my soul with their dirty shoe. F$*K YOU, b$%@h, is what I wanted to say.
Fired Up – This is where a lot of people screw up when they react in regrettable ways. I could have engaged her in conversation (which was probably the right thing to do so people could see how I handle things), could have told her what I was thinking in #2, but here’s what I did and why.
I researched how to get her off my page permanently. Obviously she has a different lens of what a true life is. She’s not my tribe, especially if she feels it’s ok to share her lens so forcefully.
I contemplated, “Well, your worst nightmare just came true of being kind of trolled on the wild digital frontier….watcha going to do?” I answered myself (conversations in my heard are so interesting!): “I’m going to keep going with my next steps on putting myself out there.” Instead of discouraging me, I was fired up to keep going – I was validated in my vision.
I cleaned my space: I use a neutral separation tool to get someone’s power out of my space so I can reclaim my space fully. Byproducts are calm restored and neutral compassion for the other person. This was a personal one for me because of my family’s lineage of “just taking it” (i.e., US Internment Camps during WWII).
In the future, if this happens again, I will do the engage in discourse thing but this week, I wanted to do something that my family couldn’t do back then. I got her out of my digital because I could. For right now, I didn’t feel like wrestling with a pig because I only would have gotten dirty in my vulnerable stage in business and she would have just had fun. She’s not a pig, it’s just a reflection of where I’m at in the stage of my game with this entrepreneurial thing.
Gratitude – With my full power and calmness restored., I looked at my part in this and received the gift that this lady gave me.
My part: I started this whole drama unwittingly by bandini’ing this lady. Facebook has a nifty way of allowing post boosts along with filtering criteria to reach people you think might be interested in your stuff., I didn’t filter it correctly, so a bunch of people who probably wouldn’t vibe, saw it in their newsfeed. Oops, my bad.
Her part: She has a way to her truth and so do I. They’re different but we’re going in the same direction. She has the right to do so and I sure in hell do, too. It’s like, Democrats and Republicans have their viewpoints on what’s best for the country but have different ways. In the end, the differences don’t matter, as long as we stay true to ourselves.
I don’t proclaim that my way is better or is a reason to usurp spirituality practices. That was never my intention or mission. I just wanted to provide a way that’s just a different way for those who haven’t had much success with existing tools or ways to a different kind of empowerment. I’m right for some peeps but not all.
My gifts: My commitment to what is going to step me was tested – I’m not going to – I haven’t exhausted my efforts yet. I saw my part in this drama and I bless the lady for giving me the gift to use the fucking Facebook filters next time. I am grateful that both she and I got the validation of our different paths, because we’re both doing the best we can to get there.
Processing Bandini Recipe Card
Feel what you feel when you get dumped on. As you know, we don’t shellac over crap, we go to the root, and the only way to do it, is let whatever happened, sink in.
Stay connected to your North Star. Why did this thing violate your essential self so much? You have to know what you’re dealing with, from the inside perspective, so you know specifically, how to deal with it. For me, my Freedom was intruded on - my space, my company, my program, my soul was blanketed by a moment by someone else’s North Star. Fuck that.
Take action by starting with you first before acting out. Without being Pollyanna, you want to clean up the undercurrent disruption so you can get back to yourself on all levels. Use the right tool to unwind the root so it doesn’t become a subconscious driver in the future. The outcome, regardless of tool you use, is going to be clarity and peace…you know, your normal self. (You can get the neutral separation exercise through the True Life Roadmap eBook sign up page.).
Receive the gift. We all have a part in the drama in our lives, either creating it like I did, or biting (and feeding) into what swirls around it. Seeing that allows for ongoing growth into who you are in your journey to surpass external criteria. With neutral , calm compassion, you’ll find that you have more in common with the things or people who cause you angst. And, that is as uplifting a gift I can think of. We are all doing the best we can.
#BandiniIsUseful #WhatHappenedToManners #TheGiftOfDrama #UnwindProblemsAtTheRoot #ManyPathsToATrueLife