I am readjusting my understanding of what a miracle is, moving away from the biblical burning bush towards the sweeter, quieter, day to day moments that are equally as monumental to one's life as an embodied soul.
I don't know anyone who doesn't struggle with this notion of faith, regardless if the goal is soul work through a guiding light or if surviving the mundane week to just make it to the weekend. Sometimes, it's both.
For me, it's more challenging to do so the further along I get in my metaphysical education, in fact, I find that challenges suck even more. Not sure if that's the right thing to say, as I think I should "know" better but it is my honest admission to you.
Thoughts about worthiness to the gift of life or grounding are less effective in dark times when compressed in the intensity when turning a corner. And that is what a corner is...squeezing everything into a sharp angle so that you pop the pimple to release the shit you don't need.
The sucky part is that this reduces you to use whatever the hell you have on hand to just take the next breath. It's feels like the walls are closing in and you just want to get out. That doesn't sound so spiritual but in fact, that desperate feeling of not being able to take it anymore is the reality.
Doesn't seem so spiritually graceful....or is it?
The fact that we continue to breath is a miracle in itself. The fact that our minds continue to cycle, even when in painful loops, is another miracle. The fact that time passes is also a marker of s a miracle that happens even when we believe we can't go on.
The fact is, we do...we do go on.
In the physical, eye-level side of life, we don't need to believe in miracles or do anything because we are propelled forward even in the dark, despite the dog paddle in a rip tide of turmoil. This is not a conscious decision because it has already been made for us.
The beautiful thing is your life goes on even when you feel that you can't.
At this most basic level of life, it happens for us, before any choice to own each moment as life enhancing or depleting. This level is about life itself without our intervention, doing, deciding, believing or judging.
Even when our definition of life sometimes hides behind a corner and we try to claw ourselves around it faster...it hides to remind us that there are many more forces beyond what we can fathom or control.
We go on because we are the miracle, propelled by something that is bigger than our efforts, thoughts, decisions, and actions.
I am so grateful for that reminder for myself and that I can be in this life with you, too, as a miracle incarnate.