Something wonderful happened when my DNA changed to allow complete immersion into what was front of me in the form of an anchor connection to "me" regardless of any craziness, serenity, and everything in between.
I began to see the good in everything, even the crappy stuff, while it played out. Even when things weren't apparent at the time, I understood that there would be a gift for me which diverted any urge to judge or get hooked.
When I was desperate to find the “meaning” of my life, my purpose in order to understand why there were "groundhog" events, I tried some wild things to get a perspective that my pragmatic mind couldn’t see.
I looked at my Akashic Records, a meditative exercise that took me into a dimensionless space of timelessness where I got to see the lessons (challenges) I designed for this life before I were born. It was woo-woo and very strange to me, but like I said, I was desperate.
In this meditative state, I admit, I was pretty terrified. What fate did I choose for myself and if I didn’t like it, could I change it? I believe in free will and the ability to choose (or not). But, when the thought, “Be present,” clearly popped into my head, I was really disappointed.
I’ll be honest with you, my initial underwhelmed reaction was, “What? That’s it? That’s so...unimpressive and so cliche. I've been ripped off! Why couldn’t it have been something really awesome like helping one-eyed children with no feet learn how to be a beautiful inspiration to the world?”
I wanted something grand but something tangible, researchable and actionable.
Well, here’s the deal. As much as I had discredited this revelation, it has turned out to be the most grand and valuable lesson in my life so far.
For me, being present meant replacing distractions of external influences with complete, easy detached immersion into only what is in front of me. Really, I think about it, II only have what’s in front of me, at this moment, so why waste my limited mental energy on something that will flitter away in the next moment? I was so overtaken by the fear of “what ifs?,” primarily stuff that only existed in my mind, rarely materializing, that I pissed away the majority of my life. I'm embarrassed that I wasted so much of my life, even more so, because I know how fragile life is, having my life turn upside down so many times. There really are no guarantees in life beyond what's right in front of me.
So now, I feel and experience deeply whatever I am in right now but detached from it so I can move onto the next moment. It's contradictory, I know, but knowing that I'm ok right now, that I have everything I need right now...is the clearest way I can explain it.
It's a weird space to be in but after a few months of it, I can never go back to the way I used to be. I suppose if I wanted to the chance regress, I would have never gone through this exercise because it really made me stretch to complete that meditation.
A mind that is stretched by new experiences can never go back to its old dimensions. Oliver Wendell James, Jr.
To encourage me to immerse into this moment is this quote that made me sit up and pay attention: The trouble is, you think you have time. Gautama Buddha
If you don’t already, can you try sitting back and noticing everything around and inside you right now? Your breakfast digesting, the sound of traffic, the hum of office lights, the “bing” of incoming emails? Know that this moment, you are really alright and you have everything you need, your breath, your body, and your mind. Pretty cool, right?
Extending that to every moment throughout the day has made all the difference for me. I hope it makes your days better, too.
- How to Read the Akashic Records by Linda Howe.
- Quotes: Enjoy life now. This is not a rehearsal. (unknown). The trouble is, you think you have time. Buddha. The future is purchased by the present. Samuel Johnso