I am someone who values productivity and seeing movement forward, so I admit I've frustrated myself when things go too slow, triggering the temptation to force. This happens often when I'm Straddling but also when I'm in process of moving forward. It seems to involve other people or groups but always circles back to me.
Eager with energy to "go," I have learned that sometimes, I just need to slooooowwww down, to wait for others and "things" to catchup, particularly at work. I know this because my signs are my slumped shoulders and knuckles dragging on the ground even though my mind is still in a Level 10 ready-go mode. It's like I just wore myself out by trying too hard to move a big o'l rock forward without any leverage.
If I'm not careful, a project or crisis can drain me to the point I I feel I am losing a cat life.
During the 23 years of caregiving at this level, had I been smart enough to take care of myself throughout that time period, I'm sure I wouldn't have to put this Hammock idea front of mind. My head and heart know this but sometimes, my body driven by the reptilian mind automatically hijacks things into a Hook spiral.
I find that these are the times that I must shut down and cocoon in self-care, even though it seems to be the most inopportune time to do so - there is something more valuable than achievement that springs from deep stillness, like a good 4 hour nap. For me, this entails indulging in massages, burrowing in blankets, or just staring at the walls.
When my common sense doesn't remind me, then my body does by waving a little flag in my face, like when I forget to close the gas cap after filling my tank. Metaphorically, I tell myself, "You are pouring too much out. Put the cap back on to take care of yourself before you end up on Empty."
There is nothing for me to do during these times. I have to accept that I have all that I can do, for now, and now the thing to do is nothing.
Sometimes, stuff just needs to figure itself out in the background without my manipulation. It's during this slow, quiet time that I've discovered time and time again, that things just congeal into something that surprises me with its ease. It's like stuff, the universe or whatever, needs time to figure out what's best for everyone, like the optometrist asking "Is this better? A? or B?"
I admit that I am a slow thinker regarding many things, as I wait for myself to catch up and receive a gift. Rather than blocking it by wanting stuff to materialize, it's been a big lesson to enjoy the simmering percolation. I also know too well what forcing things into place does to me, meaning the damage to my "DNA" that takes much more time to unwind rather than letting things brew.
I am grateful that most things "manifest' very quickly for me because of the clarity and commitment I give to them, but it's also important for me to know that things won't surface until they're ready to unfold.
I now use this void to take even more better gentle care of myself and know that things only bloom when they're meant to be, reminding myself to put the gas cap on.
Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished, Lao Tzu