Transitioning with ease from one place to another has been challenging for me. In the past, it can be best described as a death grip on the edge of a cliff, mouth agape, with each finger being plunked free until I was forced to freefall, flailing ungracefully onward.
There was no peace in the fuzzy space of in-between but rather, a panicked clenching to action plans to make something, anything materialize. I wanted stuff settled and known so that I could feel ok on solid ground again. No amount of willful force made this time go any faster.
Well, lately, it’s been easier to straddle the transition. I can only describe it as a colleague recent's comment about “comfortable with the uncomfortable” while training for the 50 triathlons that he’s participated in.
I’ve noticed that when I’m in transition for a while, it’s because I’ve not learned whatever it was I supposed to get....the answer about how to move forward hadn’t been received because I wasn't ready to leave it, despite wanting to do so badly.
So, for me, the in-between time has become the “ribbons” around the gift. Some ribbons were knotted pretty crazily and while it took some time to untie and unwind them (the root cause of my suffering) they always gave me a gift of unimagined magnitude.
Lemme just say I’ve got a lot of ribbons around me feet because I’ve learned to shut up, be still, learn the deep seated lesson that the messiness unease was giving to me. It has ended up being the most critical part of moving onward to something better because something essential has changed in my deepest seated core.
It’s a bit different than passively waiting for something to pass – it’s more like being acutely aware of the broken glass I’m standing on, but not squirming around in it. I know now that the discomfort is finite and that I WILL get something outta of it.
It’s also been interesting to note that I sometimes relearn a different aspect of the same gift as time goes on…I guess I wasn’t ready to learn the lesson all at once the first time so I’ve gotten to be ok with repeat visits.
What’s even more interesting to me is that I no longer wish for scissors to cut the ribbon away – I guess it’s not my path for an easy, clean, fast way out of things because I needed to learn to love the messy stuff just as much as the sunny side of things.
My reminders while straddling the in-between space:
- May I live like the lotus, at ease in the muddy water. Unknown
- Music is the space between the notes. Claude Debussy.